My Adolescent Is Driving Me Crazy: Understanding So You Can Reconnect

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The teenage years can often feel like a rollercoaster of emotions for parents and sometimes your never sure they are going to grow up to be responsible, self-sustaining adult. It’s also a time when many may feel that they have missed the mark with their kids in the earlier years. However, this stage ironically presents an opportunity to reconnect, guide, and support teens through this unique transitional period. In this blog, we’ll explore the characteristics of the teenager, the changes they undergo, and how parents can navigate this rollercoaster ride with grace and humor.

Characteristics of the Teen

Teens in their early years are a fascinating mix of childlike innocence and burgeoning adulthood. They can exhibit a wide range of behaviors, from meltdowns to moments of surprising maturity. Of course as they age, their maturity increases. Alot of us forget that and we also forget that every teen matures at their own rate. So don’t compare! Either way, understanding these characteristics can help parents manage their expectations and responses.

Characteristics of the Teenage Brain

Time for the nerdy stuff! But serious this stuff actually helps me develops empathy for my teens. The teenage brain is undergoing significant changes, particularly in the frontal lobe, which is responsible for decision-making and self-control. This part of the brain develops slowly, often leading to impulsive behavior and emotional outbursts. That's why so many teenage boys will get into car accidents. Meanwhile, the limbic system, which governs emotions, develops rapidly, causing heightened emotional responses. (That's why they cry at a drop of a hat).

As a parent, recognizing these developmental changes can force you to have patience and understanding. For instance, when your child seems overly emotional about a crush or a pop star, or overly emotional about a song or musical. Remember that their emotional responses are amplified during this time. Don’t panic! Most parents with kids your age are experiencing the same thing.

Forgetfulness and Selective Learning

It’s common for teens to seem forgetful or selective about what they learn. They may stare out the window during lessons or focus only on subjects that interest them. However, it is important to remember that they are maturing and they are developing interests and disinterest in things. That’s a good things. Eventually when they are motivated in the future, they will grab ahold of what is important for them to know to get the things they want. You job at this time is to is to just have patience, understanding and encourage them when they excel. Remind them that you are proud of them. 

The Emotional Rollercoaster

Teens often experience emotional ups and downs, much like a roller coaster. One minute they can be excited and happy, and the next, they may be in tears over something seemingly trivial. This unpredictability can be challenging for parents, but it’s essential to remain calm and not get drawn into their emotional turmoil.

Don’t Take the Ticket

One effective strategy is to avoid “taking the ticket” when your teen is having a meltdown. Instead of engaging in their emotional chaos, calmly state your expectations and let them know you’re there for them once they’ve calmed down. This approach helps them learn self-regulation and reinforces that you are a stable presence in