
How to Homeschool Children with Special Needs in 2025: A Complete Roadmap to Success - Part 2
Dec 25, 2024
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In Part 1 we discussed homeschooling special needs in context: creating IEP, definitions, terms, legal rights and requirement. We discussed creating a learning environment, how to make accommodations and modify curriculum, break down difficult concepts and meet their needs educationally. In the blog we will continue the discussion by digging deep into meeting their social and emotional needs through networking, reaching out, planning for transitions, working with others and keeping by our early focused on your goals and values.
4. Social and Emotional Support for Special Needs Homeschoolers
• Building social skills outside traditional classroom settings
As a homeschool parent, you have a great opportunity to allow for your child to participate in many social events. There are homeschool co-ops, homeschool educational programs and many more social groups. Most of these are open for all kids and many of these will provide a very warm and friendly environment for them.
There are also groups for kids with specific learning disabilities. For example, in our area, we have Gigi’s Playhouse, which is designed for those that have down syndrome. My daughter also attends a dance studio that has buddies that help assist students and even a unique ability dance team. The best thing to do is look around, use Facebook, Instagram, internet search and even old school word of mouth.
• Finding and participating in inclusive homeschool groups
Sometimes the challenge is finding these groups. Facebook and the Internet is your friend. Do not be afraid to get online and start doing a deep dive for community. And I will also mention Homeschool Conventions again. These are great resources!!! Not only do you get the opportunity to look through the vendor hall and curriculum, but you will also get to meet some people in your area that may share similar situations as you. For me, this is my favorite part. And at this point, I think I mainly go for friendship and can.
• Managing social anxiety and interaction challenges
Unfortunately, with social events also comes social anxiety. Not only for the child but also for you. You may have to deal with some difficult situations. The best thing to do is to be prepared for these emotionally.
I have a list of things that remind me what I need to do in case of meltdowns. And a bag of tools! Not hammers and nails but books, toys and even treats. I make sure we have water and a snack because sometimes that is the cause of the problem.
You can also prepare your child by sitting down with them and walking them through what is going to happen. Talk about it, show photos and get them excited. I would try to do these a couple days before any large social event, so you have time.
Sometimes when you’re in a social environment, things don’t always go the way you planned. You will have to deal with embarrassing moments. Use these as teachable moments for your child. Be patient, work with them, and use your calm voice when you're in the moment. Then when you get home, you can review what happened and possibly find more tools to help them navigate through these difficult events when they happen again.
Another thing I may note, and many parents may be fully aware of this but look for triggers when you get to the event. Also examine the space and look for possible hiding places or escape routes. Hopefully you will not need to know any of these hiding spots or escape routes, but it’s always good to be safe. Watch your child and see where they gravitate. Where do they go? Therefore, you can predict their actions.
We recently took my daughter to an outdoor festival. She didn’t have any meltdowns, thankfully. But she was drawn to the outer areas of the event. She just wants to walk the less busy boarder. I stayed with her, but when I wanted to go and visit friends, I spoke to her, explained what we were doing and walked her over to where I wanted to go. I’ll admit, I did have to carry her. But when I did put her down and she felt like time was up, she would go back to the boarder of the event again. I knew where she was going so I could easily separate myself from my company to go over with her. Sometimes my company joined me. Sometimes the other kids came over. But the point is, things were predictable and less stressful to me.
• Developing emotional intelligence and self-advocacy skills
Practice and modeling.
This is why I believe it’s OK and actually good for your child to be put in difficult situations. This is their opportunity to practice. Responding appropriately. It’s also an opportunity to teach them how to speak up politely when they need specific accommodations. Basically, bring a self-advocate for themselves if they can.
Now, most of the time, when they’re young, you are doing this for them. Advocating for them. That is called modeling. Keep it up! And make sure they see this happening.
As they grow older you can guide them in this process. Teach them all the words, what to ask, how to ask, and the specifics. Also kids do model your emotions. So if they see that something upsets you, they may get upset. If you are strong during hard moments, they will also learn to be strong. They are always learning from you.
• Creating meaningful peer connections and experiences
This is always a challenge. Sometimes our kids do not want peers to be in their lives. They want to isolate and be alone. So, we have to really work with them to get out in the world. My suggestion, be persistent. Do it often and have a schedule.
Home Education Programs, Co-ops, sports, music, theatre, dance, all of these are great resources. And make it a point to connect with the parents of the kids that your child may connect with. Then you’ll have birthday parties and even hang-out time.
I do get it through. Let me share what one mother of a son on the spectrum did when he struggled with connecting. She was at our homeschool group and her son was taking classes. She came to me and shared how her son purposefully withdraws himself. Not that he doesn’t want friends, but he doesn’t know how to make friends. She said he would consistently come home and complain that no one wanted to talk to him. So, us, as a collective group of Moms, made it a point to include him in activities. In essence we helped break that barrier so he could make friends. I’m not saying it was easy, there was resistance and off days. But there was progress.
What I am saying is that don’t be afraid to get others on board with you as you strive to build community and find meaningful friends.
5. Professional Support and Resources
• Working with therapists, doctors, and educational specialists
Unlike other kids, our kids get special attention from special people. It’s actually great to have specialists help guide us and find things that we don’t always pick up on. They have a different perspective and insight that we don’t always have. With that being said, outside of life threatening situations, we still have a choice. We can choose the therapist or specialist, how often they receive sessions, how long, and what time of day. We can have them involved with aqua therapy, horse therapy, music therapy, not to mention OT, PT and Speech.
But there are challenges. Finding a specialist or therapist that is homeschool friendly is challenging and sometimes rare. Sometimes we are put in awkward situations and have to constantly advocate for our choices. That is why it’s important for us to always stay focused on the reasons why we homeschool. And also stay on the same page as our spouse. If I have not done that, I would encourage you to do that, write it down and put it in a place that you can reference to.